Thursday 12 November 2009

Marjal and the trimmings

Well blog 1 is at an end and now we start on our next adventure.
(now before we start I had a lot of trouble towards the end of the last blog uploading pictures, well either the wi-fi here is crap, it is free, or the problems are still with this software.  So pics to follow.
The plan was to tour Spain and Portugal for about 8 months starting in September.
Thing was that Adam, our first and only son (I think) was 30 on October 18th and our daughter Eve (only kidding) AKA Heather was due for a “ladies” operation on 12th October. So it was decided that we would wait until 28th to actually “go”.

I was in Sainsburys, getting the last bits in for the journey, steak & kidney pies etc. for Tricia’s “Christ! I need something to eat NOW!" moments, when I saw a mother & daughter with an empty trolley in the middle of the store, in the chocolate/biscuit isle. Not to say overweight but they both could not actually walk round their thighs. It was on the tip of my tongue to say “shouldn’t you be somewhere else?” But I did not.

Anyway, got the Mothership (MS) back to the house to give it a good seeing to, cleaning re-tooling and generally getting ready for the off. I had replaced the old lights with new LED’s and I must say it made quite a difference, as well as cutting down on the electric consumption.

The day arrived and after getting some cars to move from “our bank” away we went.
Plan was Newhaven to Dieppe, only 22 miles so OK.
Saw the sign LD ferries next left but did nor realise it meant 20 metres next left, so we/I missed it and had an interesting time driving through tiny Newhaven in our 43 foot rig.

Got ferry, 4 hours later, off and driving on the RHS. Our plan was to overnight at a Aire on the motorway, which is normally frowned upon because of security problems, i.e. someone could break in and quickly nick off straight on to the motorway. But after listening to our friends from Benicassim, Martin & Kathy, who had been using them for 20 years with no problems, we decided to give it a go. (little did I know?) Also this time, instead of paying a fortune in tolls, we would use non motorway routes. So we headed for Orleans and managed to stay off tolls paying only €2.90 so far.

Now writing this in such a place, 115 parking place’s 10 miles north Orleans, which by 10’clock is double parked and stinks of urine.

Tricia has gone to bed with a hot water bottle shaped like a penguin? And I’m writing this. Tomorrow we head for Limonges.

29/10/2009; travelled about 180 miles to an Aire at Magnac Brouges, 20 miles south of Limonges and just off the A20. Basically an open space next to a pond in the centre of the village. Both fancied a steak but at €20/head for steak and chips, no bloody way, so it was off to Intermarch, steak, salad, wine and the trimmings, all for less than €10. Great steak and now Tricia is in shower hoping the hair drier works with the inverter/battery hook up. We were a little worried about parking where we are but within 2 hours 2 more motorhomes parked along side, both Brits!

Went to check on the gas reservoir and low and behold the gas bottle filled by Ollie “it only cost £4.57” was empty, because it was not filled up!

Changed over the “changeover” nozzle only for it to fracture, I only used the bloody thing twice. Need a replacement or workaround or we will have to buy a Spanish bottle. One full one left, which I FILLED for £7.50, so may last for a while yet.

Hope to leave early, 9am if SWMBO drags herself out of bed in time. Then a run of about 280 miles to next Aire on the Mediterranean coast just inside France.

Cards in a minute followed and with wine and beer and then early to bed?
I keep on dreaming you know. It turned out that we played dominoes and I got beat 5-3, damn!

Friday 30th. Next morning the French motorhome had gone and discharged their black water on the top of the drain leaving turds everywhere but I bet we brits will get the blame.
Onto A20 to Tolouse and because it was a reasonably long run, 280 miles, decided to stay with motorways and tolls, cost about €50 but a lot easier on the nerves. By the time we had reached our destination Tricia had eaten BOTH my steak & kidney pies.

MPG not good at about 17-18 which was down on our last average of 19 mpg, are you still awake?

Arrived at Aire at Locate which is a area next to the beach on the Mediterranean with about 40 MHs already there, €6.50 inc. all services, which means a dump station and potable water, no electric. Moon nearly full, clear night and just got beat AGAIN 5-4 at does, dam, dam, dam.

Tomorrow its off to good old Benicassim for a one nighter, that is if we make it. I thought it was about 200 miles in fact it’s over 300. So early start again.

Well we were duped, pulled in to dump station at a Repsol gas station going south on AP 7 between junctions 4&5. SWMBO dumped her hand bag on the front seat to help me to manoeuvre over the grate. Then I jumped out to let it gush because she wouldn’t. As I was doing so some Spanish bastard distracted her by asking for the nearest laundry? I guess while doing so his "mate" nipped in & grabbed it.

Now before everyone starts saying "should never leave anything on front seat etc. " I completely agree, we were chumps but at a dumping station!
Anyroadup, passports, her credit cards, driving licence, phone, spare precrition glasses, ACSI card, spare keys for everything, €20, and her Gucci handbag.
So lesson learned. (BIG TIME!)

What had really happened was when we left the gas station; we travelled about 65 miles until we arrived at the toll both, “get the ticket and money Pet”. “Where’s my handbag, WHERE’S MY HANDBAG!” “I think I left it in the toilet back at the last Gas stop”. The next hour back was without any recriminations because I knew that somehow, by whatever bizarre reason, it would be my fault. It was only after we had arrived at the gas station and checked the toilet and reception and were on our way back the SWMBO mentioned the Arab looking guy who was distracting her while we “dumped”. The rest we figured out.

Mind you it could have been worst. When we went back, had the scrotes (who now had a full set of keys) still been hanging around, unlightly I agree, they could have nicked the whole thing or at least the Navara when we were in the tourist information office finding out what to do next.

That day, including the double back, I drove a record of 480 miles and we pulled into Benicassim as it was getting dark.

For the first time I met another 5er at a camp site and guess what? It was identical to mind, same specification and Navara. Turns out if belongs to Larry, an anglicised, American living in Somerset and his partner Bernie (female). He had a lot of equipment including a 2m satellite dish and as he 1) had no up rated sticker for the Navara from SV teck in the UK. And 2) no up rate sicker for the KL26RK (5er). Also no “long vehicle” plates at the rear. If he was ever stopped by any Police force the fine would be enough to cover all the drinks at the Police officers Christmas ball.

Met Wendy “The Oracle” who we knew from our last visit, her husband Graham thought we had been ignoring them as Larry had been parked at the other side of the camp for the last two weeks.

First thing she said after hearing our woes? “Do you need any money?” Cheers you up things like that.
Time for a shower, couple of beers and fell into a deep sleep dreaming of planted and rigged exploding handbags and testicle clamps attached to East European testicles attached to 10,000 volts. I’m not a vengeful man, honest.

Still being stuck here in 26 degrees for the next few months has lessened the pain.
Happy (ish) in Marjal, nr Alicante.

Good news is there is a Lidl nearby!

2nd November 2009, 30°C hummmmmmm.

Have been told many stories of robberies in and around Alicante, including breaking into you car while in Lidl! Now that’s just disgraceful, takes away one’s dignity when you are inside deciding between a gallon of wine at €3.99 or better stuff at €4.39 ant outside some scrotes are trying to get into your car.

Have got all the documents printed for new passports and after speaking to the British Consulate, worrying about what happens next, it’s ho hum and send lots of money to Madrid and hope you get new passports in time.

This place, Marjal, is absolutely 5* but compared to Benicassim it is a cyclist nightmare. No cycle routes, so you have to share the N332 with the Lorries and cars, not for the fainthearted.
Tricia is at present cooking a lamb stew, on top of the oven instead of in it which will probably work out alright unlike the last time when she set the oven a gas mark 2 for 3 hours, yep uncooked stew.

Tomorrow it is into Alicante (if I survive the stew, sorry Pet, casserole) to get passport photos and visit a Police station that speaks some English for a incident number to go on our applications. Also will try and fill up our empty LPG bottle.

Other good news is it looks like I have developed a hernia, let the good times roll. Tricia said she knew a Chinese guy who had a hernia and now calls me “One Hung Lo”.

Spent Monday getting used to the place and filling up the fridge with beer and some food.

Tuesday was spent in Alicante being directed and re-directed to various Police establishments until we finally got a “incident number” so we could fill in the forms for replacement passports. Also got passport photos but no duplicate keys.
Wednesday, more shopping and a walk along the beach, place is a little seedy but not too bad.
Got in touch with Phil the Greek and as he is only 16 miles away and will visit him on Friday and get him to countersign our passport photos. Things are moving on at last.

Thursday 5th November

Still warm but blowing a bit. Now we are starting to feel “settled in” and getting to know the site pretty well. Missed the start of the free Spanish lessons by a few weeks so I guess its back to the books and CDs. We are sleeping very well, I mean even I was still in bed at 9:45 this morning. Mind I’m sure we had 4 bottles of red wine the night before and not 2.

Off for a walk into the in Guardamar, the local town/village, so far we have cycled to it but only on the main (N-332) roads and it’s a bit of a nightmare. May also pick up some TV cable (left the 80 m I bought last time) as you get most of the UK channels here for free so I can look forward to watching MOTD on Saturday night.

Went for a short (5 miles) walk into town and managed to buy all the things I had been “getting round to”, inc. some TV lead.

Aerial in and no BBC, apparently needs to be fixed but no time soon.

Finally found a LPG gas outlet at a Repsol garage but the pump does not fit any of the adapters I have. Actually the guy “helping” at the pump was rude and an idiot and just kept waving me away from the pump, he validated my inherent mistrust of strangers. Then agai I probably should have put out my cigarette first. E-mailed Gaslow and they reckoned that the UK bayonet was the one but it is not. So £300, for a refillable gas system that you cannot refill.

Friday/Saturday 7th November 2009

27° C both days. Decided to take a trip down to Torrevieja where Phil the Greek lives.
Only 16 miles but went via coast road and all the small villages and towns, got lost a million times. A lot of roads have been moved, removed or changed to go the other way and GPS was confused. So we had to go back to basics and follow the bloody signs, which worked out OK.

Phil & Sue place is very nice and in a large enclave of similar apartments/ villas etc., most owned by Brits. I was very quiet also, nobody seemed to be around.

He took us on a flying visit to various establishments that had key cutting equipment, no go, even from “Mr Minit”, dam, dam, dam!
Then out for dinner, OK, and on to some pubs. Everything was English, everybody spoke English, English food, English, beer, English papaers. In fact it was England with the Sun and not bad weather.

8th November

Update on theft, the bastards managed to withdraw £2,000, 4 x £500, in cash from our Nationwide Visa CC account, in about an hour before it was stopped. Of course the account is being charged daily the interest rate on cash withdrawals. Thank God tha was the only credit card she carried. The scrotes have not even bothered or haven’t tried yet to get into our current account.

Today is Sunday and after SWMBO has finished her soft boiled eggs and toast in bed we might get some cleaning done.
Sun rise at 7’ish this morning. Quite cold at 15ºC. Climbed to 29ºC yesterday so just wait awhile. Then its drain tanks and put our newly acquired green ground sheet down to stop treading the ground marble chippings into the MS.

Tricia is still in bed (10:35 am) reading Apache by Ed Macy and does not look like actually getting up at all today. I’ve read the book and it’s about Afghanistan and helicopters. He is an ex flier but writes like a thriller novelist, for a true story it is very good. Note 11:55, she is up and running.
Tried to get the ground sheet down but it’s bloody windy now and has been most afternoons, warm but windy.

When we go out I have to move the car from the empty plot next door and park it in front of the MS because when we are out someone may turn up and choose that plot.
So, gets car nearly in place just enough to miss the hitch ball on the front of the MS but unfortunately didn’t, small “crunch” noise and have scratched/dented the bonnet/wing. When is the 3rd thing going to happen?

Went for short walk to the beach so Tricia could practice with the “big” camera. That is the Olympus E-420 4/3rds DSLR. “Oh, I like the noise it makes”. Got some pictures of some ducks and pampas grass, don’t wait for the pictures. I tried to read the manual as mentioned in last blog and its still set on auto and point and click.

On Monday Phil and Sue called in and were suitably impressed by Marjal. Phil used to fish around here and all he could remember was some kind of run down camp site fronted by two night clubs called “Nancy’s” one of them being a brothel. They are still there and thriving. It actually does not come as any kind of surprise because when we were driving to Phil’s “the long way”, i.e. getting lost. We noticed some young, not completely fully dressed, women at the side of the road. I saw one pair and said to Tricia “you can guess what they are up to”. “Well they are probably waiting for a friend”. Yeah, right, a “man friend” with lots of €’s. This is in the middle of the day mind. I mean so Spaniard says to his wife “just popping out, Pet”, and goes for a quick shag at lunch time.
Sometimes they park themselves at roundabouts and as you go pass open their legs. “Oh my God she does not have knickers on; I should throw her a pair of mine”. “Nah, just chuck her a small comb and tell her to tidy up a bit”.

It’s enough to put you off your beer.

I also noticed one of the girls was knitting, yes you read right knitting. Can you imagine the conversation when she gets home? “Slow day Pet?” “Yes, but I managed two scarves and a beret”.

It’s Tuesday 10th and finally the permanent wind (almost gale) has stopped and we can finally get our green ground sheets down. But first it’s off to Alicante again to have a fight with the Repsol garage man about re-filling my gas tanks; apparently the guy on the morning shift is a little more helpful. Then on to Nissan Alicante to try and get a spare key.

Have talked to Alex at Calder Leisure and we agreed that rather then get duplicate keys made I should fit a new lock. Pretty easy to fit by the looks of it, bear that thought in mind dear reader.

Well a good day all round 1) Filled tanks, no bother, €4 each and apparently this time they had the right adaptor. 2) Nissan Alicante is ordering new keys and will collect on Friday. 3) Bought a steering wheel security bar with a key THEY have not got.

Here’s the thing; if they were part of a professional gang (getting the chip from a card needs equipment costing over £100,000 apparently) and knowing there are only 30 or so sites that can take this size rig in Spain. It would not take a lot to track us down; they have all our details so find where we are by phoning each site and asking for us. Then come down wait their moment, when we go walking/cycling for a couple of hours, open door of 5er, remove anything of worth, pile it into the back of the Navara and drive off.

We come back to basically nothing and the insurance does not pay up because we should replace all locks straight away, yep that’s an easy thing to do in Spain. Kinda sobering thought isn’t it?

Do you know the insurance does not cover the cost of loss of any documentation or money? OK, money I understand “Yes, there was 2 million quid in the wallet”. But the documents are the most important. BTW it costs £300 for our two passports.

Back to Tuesday, birth certificates arrived OK from Heather so we can now send the stuff to Madrid, they say it takes 6 weeks, we fly home in 5 weeks and 6 days, exciting isn’t it?

E-mail from Alex, the new lock is on its UPS way. Lock £50, UPS £100, go figure.

Wednesday 11th Marjal

Passport applications are in the post after spending most of the day looking for the Correous (Post Office) in Guardamar. It seems that in southern Spain you do or do not pronounce the “s”, I guess depending if they is an “r” in the month, I don’t know.
So we were sent from pillar to post until we found the bloody thing. Now we wait.

Just something I read recently
“Passport Application”
Subject: Passport Application

Dear Minister,
I'm in the process of renewing my passport but I am a total loss to understand or believe the hoops I am being asked to jump through.

How is it that Bert Smith of T.V. Rentals Basingstoke has my address and telephone number and knows that I bought a satellite dish from them back in 1994, and yet, the Government is still asking me where I was born and on what date?

How come that nice West African immigrant chappy who comes round every Thursday night with his DVD rentals van can tell me every film or video I have had out since he started his business up eleven years ago, yet you still want me to remind you of my last three jobs, two of which were with contractors working for the government?

How come the T.V. detector van can tell if my T.V. is on, what channel I am watching and whether I have paid my licence or not, and yet if I win the government run lottery they have no idea I have won or where I am and will keep the bloody money to themselves if I fail to claim in good time.
Do you people do this by hand?

You have my birth date on numerous files you hold on me, including the one with all the income tax forms I've filed for the past 30-odd years. It's on my health insurance card, my driver's licence, on the last four passports I've had, on all those stupid customs declaration forms I've had to fill out before being allowed off the planes and boats over the last 30 years, and all those insufferable census forms that are done every ten years and the electoral registration forms I have to complete, by law, every time our lords and masters are up for re-election.

Would somebody please take note, once and for all, I was born in Maidenhead on the 4th of March 1957, my mother's name is Mary, her maiden name was Reynolds, my father's name is Robert, and I'd be absolutely astounded if that ever changed between now and the day I die!

I apologise Minister. I'm obviously not myself this morning. But between you and me, I have simply had enough! You mail the application to my house, then you ask me for my address. What is going on? Do you have a gang of Neanderthals working there? Look at my damn picture. Do I look like Bin Laden? I don't want to activate the Fifth Reich for God's sake! I just want to go and park my weary backside on a sunny, sandy beach for a couple of week's well-earned rest away from all this crap.

Well, I have to go now, because I have to go to back to Salisbury and get another copy of my birth certificate because you lost the last one. AND to the tune of 60 quid! What a racket THAT is!! Would it be so complicated to have all the services in the same spot to assist in the issuance of a new passport the same day? But nooooo, that'd be too damn easy and maybe make sense. You'd rather have us running all over the place like chickens with our heads cut off, then find some tosser to confirm that it's really me on the goddamn picture - you know... the one where we're not allowed to smile in case we look as if we are enjoying the process!
Hey, you know why we can't smile? 'Cause we're totally jacked off!

I served in the armed forces for more than 25 years including over ten years at the Ministry of Defence in London. I have had security clearances which allowed me to sit in the Cabinet Office, five seats away from the Prime Minister while he was being briefed on the first Gulf War and I have been doing volunteer work for the British Red Cross ever since I left the Services. However, I have to get someone 'important' to verify who I am -- you know, someone like my doctor...
who, before he got his medical degree 6 months ago WAS LIVING IN PAKISTAN...

Yours sincerely,
An Irate British Citizen.”


Kind of makes sense to me.

Finally got our green ground sheet down which made SWMBO very happy as she is a tidy kind of person. Funny thing is we had to pay 50 cents for each nail from the local on site supermarket but got 30 for €3 from the town’s hardware store.
We had cycled in and the path is not cycle friendly, so bumpy that the old “Chalfont’s” made a painful come back.

I guess we are starting to feel that it’s time to settle down an enjoy ourselves, that’s what early retirement is all about. But also sometimes I feel like I'm diagonally parked in a parallel universe.

My Mother, God rest her soul, was Irish, well not just Irish but Catholic Irish. Although my Dad insisted the first born would be protestant, me, all the rest, 3 other brothers, were Catholic. She had some real Irish sayings. “Look Son, I would give you a key but if I’m in, I’m in and if I’m out, I’m out” Made obvious sense to me at the time. She went to the bank one day to sign a cheque for £40. She tried to write “fourhorty” but could not, so she made out two for twenty each.

When we moved south she sent me a letter:
Dear Son,

Just a few lines to let you know I'm still alive. I'm writing this letter slowly because I know you can't read fast. We are all doing very well.

You won't recognise the house when you get home - we have moved. Your dad read in the newspaper that most accidents happen within 20 miles from your home, so we moved. I won't be able to send you the address because the last Irish family that lived here took the house numbers when they moved so that they wouldn't have to change their address.
This place is really nice. It even has a washing machine. I'm not sure it works so well though: last week I put a load in and pulled the chain and haven't seen them since.
Your father's got a really good job now. He's got 500 men under him. He's cutting the grass at the cemetery.
Your sister Mary had a baby this morning but I haven't found out if it's a boy or a girl, so I don't know whether you are an auntie or an uncle.
Your brother Tom is still in the army. He's only been there a short while and they've already made him a court martial!
Your Uncle Patrick drowned last week in a vat of whiskey in the Dublin Brewery. Some of his workmates tried to save him but he fought them off bravely. They cremated him and it took three days to put out the fire.
I'm sorry to say that your cousin Seamus was arrested while riding his bicycle last week. They are charging him with dope peddling.
I went to the doctor on Thursday and your father went with me. The doctor put a small tube in my mouth and told me not to talk for ten minutes. Your father offered to buy it from him.
The weather isn't bad here. It only rained twice this week, first for three days and then for four days. Monday was so windy one of the chickens laid the same egg four times.
We had a letter from the under-taker. He said if the last payment on your Grandmother's plot wasn't paid in seven days, up she comes.
About that coat you wanted me to send you, your Uncle Stanley said it would be too heavy to send in the mail with the buttons on, so we cut them off and put them in the pockets.
John locked his keys in the car yesterday. We were really worried because it took him two hours to get me and your father out.
There isn't much more news at this time. Nothing much has happened.

You’re loving Mum
P.S. I was going to send you some money but I had already sealed the envelope.

Well just had our intravenous episode of “West Wing” and it’s off to bed, night, night.
1:34 in morning and 3 G&T’s plus the wine.


Tommorow is washing day.










1 comment:

  1. lpg 4 euro for a motor home to be filled up or was it just the eating gas you filled . thanks
    joseph
    liverpool
    could not find one lpg garage the length and breathe of spain non in repsol.

    ReplyDelete